Things you will never say until you are a parent

"No, I don't want your carrot in my belly button."

Police Blotter

From our local police blotter:

June 25

Deputies were dispatched to respond to a domestic dispute in which a girl threw a boneless pork chop at a family member after being told that she needed to finish school and get a job. The police report says she then threw a stuffed animal at another family member. The victims did not complain of any pain.